They not be funny but they do encourage us to celebrate and enjoy life! Every year Jesus parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. It can get us through tough times. Your email address will not be published. Lets get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family linethrough our father.. And believe it or not, there are some funny Bible verses about poop! It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. (The disciples had tried everything they knew how to doexcept prayer. Get out of here, baldy! they said. Get out of here, baldy! they said. The Bible was written thousands of years ago. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Job 10:10 CSB: Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese? 1 Samuel 28:7 NLT: Saul then said to his advisers, Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.. Also, if there is a verse you find funny, thats not listeddrop it below in the comments. "Stay the dickens away from her [someone else's wife]. He socialized. Did you know that the Word of God includes some funny Bible verses? SUBSCRIBE: https://bit.ly/growclos. While all the people are watching, bake it over a fire using dried human dung as fuel and then eat the bread.. Before we look at these funny Bible verses, lets go over what makes them funny. God brought down a fire so powerful that even the soil was burned. Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me, she said. So he brought his soldiers down to the water, and theLordtold Gideon, You are to cull out everyone who laps up water with his tongue like a dog from everyone who kneels to drink., Esau told Jacob, Let me gobble down some of this red stuff, since Im starving. (Thats how Esau got his nickname Edom.). Let us explore the funny Bible verses and develop our appreciation for humor. Jesus loves us so much. I mean for REALS some of these verses of Scripture can make you choke on your drink or wet your pants from laughing so hard! Of course, when the Lord asked why Sarah laughed she denied it. Prophets tell the people their prophecies through words. 19 Encouraging Verses for a Troubled Marriage, 25 Encouraging Scriptures About Working Hard, 6 Instagram Bible Study Groups to Follow This Year, 20 Encouraging Bible Verses for Stressful Times. 1 John 3:11 law love neighbor This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. Proverbs 11:22, Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she also hath borne children unto thy brother Nahor:21Uz his first-born, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram, Prepare and eat this food as you would barley cakes. Immediately after the tent peg story, the book of Judges gives us another graphic death. Some animals are too beautiful for words but many are just plain ridiculous. Proverbs 11:22 NIV: Like a gold ring in a pigs snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. Having said that, appreciating Gods humor can help us know Him better and in turn, have a better relationship with Him. Words can hurt. And what did Elijah do? When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me, Daddy, I'm under five.". By Posted jordan schnitzer house In strengths and weaknesses of a volleyball player Your email address will not be published. I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated! His eyes grew tired and he fell asleep. Out of Context: This verse has nothing to do with dunking a basketball, hitting a game-winning homerun, bench-pressing a bus, winning the lottery or closing a business deal. This one varies among translations and most of them aren't as crazy as this one: 1 Samuel 6:4 JUB: Then said they, What shall be theexpiation ofguilt which we shall pay unto him? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand! Unless otherwise indicated, all content is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License. The people thought they were drunk because of their passion, and Peter had to stand up and announce loudly that these people are not drunk since it is only nine oclock in the morning. And these funny Bible verses about love and marriage are spot on! Dont be alarmed, he said. The Lord gave us the Bible to learn from. Here are my top 5 funniest stories in the Bible! funniest verses in the message bible Isgho Votre ducation notre priorit Humor is used as a means to deal with the burdens of life. In his short story The Jesus Stories, Kevin Brockmeier uses this verse as the catalyst to imagine a land where every person writes a story about Jesus desperately hoping that if they can write them all down, Jesus will return to Earth. Suddenly two female bears came along and mauled 42 of them. Well, the author of this Bible verse knows how life can get sometimes. Song of Songs 7:4 NIV: Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. Power Charged by Norma Armand is a collection of Christian short stories aimed at kids ages 7 - 11. Here are some of the funny Bible verses that made us chuckle: Then the Lord spoke to the fish, and it spit Jonah out onto the dry land.. But the Bible always seems to take on a serious tone and speaks about the direct consequences of obedience or disobedience of certain commandments and their correlation to prosperity and poverty, sickness and health, as well as life and death. Time limit is exhausted. Outside of being an interesting explanation for regional differences around the world, this just checks out as another move from typical God, punishing people for getting too greedy. Be strong and courageous. There is nothing that brings people closer together like humor. At the end of the list is a funny video from John Crist on the Bible Verse Lady. Sarah laughed because she knew it was impossible since she was so old. Jonah was mad that God would forgive these sinners, but then God taught him a lesson by making a leafy grow to give Jonah shade. 12. Balaam was a seer hired by Balak a rival king of Israel, to prophesy against the Jews. Lyz Lenz is currently the managing editor of the Rumpus. Peter wants to clear the air and make sure that everyone knows its WAY to early to be drinking. He offers his daughters up to get gang-raped by strangers, his town is destroyed, his wife turns to a pillar of salt, and finally, his daughters get him drunk, sleep with him, and bear his children. Balaam did not see the angel until the donkey spoke and pointed out that there is an angel in their path. For example, here are 3 funny Bible verses that will give you a lighthearted laugh as you diligently study your Bible today: A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything.. It contains a lot of guidelines that teach us how to live in the best possible way here on earth. Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes, which have come from washing. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. In Context: The Apostle Paul is under house arrest awaiting his trial, where he may possibly be put to death for preaching the resurrection . And I would NEVER condone violence against a child, but I'm sure some parents have at least had a momentary thought such as this one: Psalm 137:9 HCSB: Happy is he who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rocks. When I threw it into the fire, out came this calf!, Poof, a cow just showed up out of the fire Sure, Aaron. Elijah is one of the greatest prophets God sent to the Israelites. Jesus addressed the problem with people who always point out the mistakes of others but seem to be blind of their own through hyperbole. Many Christians are familiarized with the many Bible verses that are highlighted at Sunday Mass. Proverbs 11:22 does not make fun of anyone. This is a great reminder that not everyone wants to hear other people's opinions - or even worse, pretend to take them seriously. We should be cheerful and happy because we are thankful to be blessed by the God of the universe. Genesis 25:30 "He said to Jacob, "Let me gulp down some of that red stuff; I'm starving." Ecclesiastes 10:19 "A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything." 2 Kings 2:23-24 "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. Human walking speed is 2.5 miles/hour. John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. Its also a good reminder about God and the variety of ways He imparts wisdom. Proverbs 21:9 NIV: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss." God's Spirit hovering like a bird; a soupy nothingness; an inky blackness. Is it just me or does it sound like this is one of the many funny bible verses out of context and the Bible isnt necessarily advocating the endless pursuit of money as the ultimate problem-solving tool for every single one of lifes dilemmas? When some boys call him bald, he curses them and two bears come and maul 42 of them. The Bible is usually considered a boring book full of commandments about what you shouldnt doall the fun things, like getting drunk on wine, coveting your neighbors oxen or dropping the Ark of the Covenant in mud. Bible Verses for Unstoppable Faith. But Ezekiel was like, Uhmno thank you. Get out of here, baldy!. A continual dripping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike. Power struggle and when the greatest was with them, Jesus! More often than not, funny Scripture can be found in Biblical stories. Aside from teaching, healing, and dying on the cross Jesus attended weddings and dined with people. I compiled a list of 18 funny Bible verses and I hope it brings a smile to your face. Here are the funniest bible verses that you should know. Laughter is simply good for the soul and it allows us to confront the darker sides of life with grace and composure. Talking animals, here is a story about a donkey. By his wounds you have been healed.". Don't go anywhere near the door to her house. In this chapter, King Saul is without his prophet Samuel and is about to go into a big battle. Ok, so I have to throw this in here cause I love Christian comedian John Crist and think his videos are hilarious. Receive uplifting scriptures, inspiring articles & helpful guides to encourage your faith. He may be too busy or maybe hes relieving himself. These people are not drunk, as you suppose. As Paul spoke on and on, a young man named Eutychus, sitting on the windowsill, became very drowsy. Either way, let me know by leaving a comment below right now. Funny Bible Verses can be inspiring too; Ecclesiastes 8:15 discusses living life while we have the chance. Please reload CAPTCHA. So he cursed them in the name of the Lord, then two bears mauled them. Even the Bible the literal Word of God can offer some opportunities to find humor depending on the translation you are using. Very well, he replied, I allow you cows dung in place of human excrement; bake your bread on that.. Before I go any further, I want to make sure that you understand that I take the Bible as a serious matter! This is one of those Oh, snap verses that is funny but true. Matthew 21:18 NIV: Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. The Bible even says by the end they were limping around with gushing blood. From there Elisha went up to Bethel. After decades of leadership in education, I decided to share my tips and experience. If we get a good grasp of the nature of God and His sense of humor, it would not be disrespectful to think that God has a sense of humor. Actually this is the type of story where it helps to understand the situation or context. His research is focused on making connections between people better, stronger, more meaningful, and longer lasting using technology. He invites the 450 priests of Baal and the 400 priests of Asherah to build an altar and lay a bull on it. 1188 or Psalm 118 verse 8 is the middle verse of the entire Bible. And he said I love funny Bible verses like Job 10:10, Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us that everything has its own time. [Like] a gold ring in a pigs snout, [so] is a beautiful woman who lacks good taste. Lets grab coffee! But the Bible does have some pretty funny Bible verses about drinking that, when taken out of the intended context, will have you laughing! Acts 20:9-10 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. Sometimes, God has to use the absurd to get our attention and to teach us. Mark 9:28 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet and he stood up. Finally, timing, location, and context are everything in the Bible. This woman will be made to be a lot like you physically, only much more beautiful. It was because an angel bearing a sword was in the path. I'll start! Joke has 75.94 % from 90 votes. What Does The Joy of the Lord is my Strength Mean. We probably know someone who drives like they are being chased by a horde of wild animals. 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